10 reasons Switzerland is (not) the best place to raise kids

Forget the beautiful lakes, breath taking mountains, multilingualism, international atmosphere in the cities, calm and safety. These are the real reasons you should pack your suitcase, grab your kid and join us, happily raising our kids on the greenest of the grasses of the world.

1. Most cantons ensure you will have plenty of time with your child if you’re not working. You don’t need to worry about daycare – as you most probably won’t get any.

2. If family meals are important to you, the Swiss school system ensures you have lunch with your children everyday. And you thought once they went to school you’d be bored!

3. Not a baby person? Don’t worry! Maternity leave is only 12-14 weeks long, so you’ll be back at work before you can say ‘ten dirty nappies’.

4. School events, birthdays – if you don’t like forced chit chat with other parents, chances are it won’t be possible anyway, as everyone speaks a different language! And you probably can’t speak to your child’s friends either, which makes life a whole lot more fun.

5. Feeling stressed by those super moms filling your Facebook feeds with baking and crafts? Don’t worry! Every canton has different rules, so your friends from neighbouring cantons will not be able to give you much advice, which decreases the risk of parental competition.

6. If you’re lucky enough, you don’t have a washing machine at home and you get to use the communal one in your building. It’s like gambling – will my pants be there when I get down? You’ll get free fitness running up and down with laundry and your kid(s)! And, if you’re only allowed to use it one day a week it gives you no other choice than to buy a whole lot of clothes.

7. Overwhelmed with products choice? No idea which stroller to put your precious cargo in? Switzerland is the place to be. The choice is very limited, you buy what’s there, no complications.

8. Referencing point 7, everyone has more or less the same stuff. If you’re coming from abroad you can shine with amazing toys and clothes nobody else will have. ‘Oh this old thing? It’s from Poland’ – smiling smugly. Just remember about luggage weight limits, duty and border controls.

9. If you’re afraid your child has the wrong sort of friends, don’t worry! They will probably leave in few years and your child will have the opportunity to find new, better companions. (Sobbing as your kids best friend flies back to the USA is a great look.)

10. All the horrible, loud, poo-smelling baby cafes, kid-adapted restaurants don’t exist here! Yey! You can totally enjoy your lunch/dinner with your kids in a regular restaurant, making you more focused and engaged parent. Oh! And let’s not forget all the bonding that comes from anxious family meal at a restaurant that doesn’t cater for your little ones. Pure heaven.

As you can see Switzerland is the ideal place for bringing up a child!

I’m just off to run around the Lac Leman (Geneva Lake) with Z. and get some fresh air now. Man, it’s so annoying having nature right on my door step. Nonetheless, I still can’t think of a better place to raise my daughter.

This article was originally published on Milk, Crafts, and Honesty.